I finally bowed out on 31 Aug 2019, after being Head of Marketing for 18 months. What started as a short-term contract, maternity cover role, became permanent when the new mom resigned after returning from maternity in June. But 6 months into the role as a permanent headcount, I decided it was not the life that I want.
Interestingly, the person who inspired me with his vision to accept the permanent role is also the reason for my leaving. Perhaps the vision no longer inspired me – what is the point of having a vision but not the necessary support and resources to turn it into a reality? Team leads are expected to self-manage and to be self-motivated, I can accept that, but we still need to be supported; still need a manager to inspire us to greatness. The role was also 80% event management which was not something I was happy doing. My colleagues, well, I really do prefer them as friends. And I was really tired of doubling up, and even tripling up, each time we were back-filling headcounts, and yet have the boss asked why I was working so hard. Duh! I read somewhere, if your boss doesn’t see the real value in you, it’s time for a fresh start. So I decided on a fresh start.
Does it scare me to leave the job? Of course, given the current employment situation. And at my age. But I refuse to be unhappy. I was unhappy with the work, the long hours I was putting in, and the way I was managed. I would probably suck it up if I really needed the salary but at this point in my life, I have other priorities.
Mom needs attention – she was spending all her time at home watching boring Taiwanese TV soap. I need to get her out of the house to engage with others and do more activities. I hope to bring her out for walks by the beach, lunches, and to senior citizen activity centers with suitable activities. If her self-confidence increases, then she may want to go out with her friends and have a life outside the home.
Another thing on my list is to start writing again. I have not published an article on my blog since Dec 2018 and now it is time again to renew my GoDaddy account. Basically, I have paid for a year of inactivity! What a waste of money! So, I am giving myself another year to do something about my blog or shut it down for good. No point paying for something that I will not use. I need to come up with a plan for my blog.
I also need to figure out my home repair/renovation plans. For my own small humble abode and our old HDB flat that has been left mostly vacant since we moved out in 2005. If only I know when the HDB Home Improvement Programme (HIP) will be implemented for my 30-year old flat, then I will be able to plan for the renovation. Renting out my humble abode will not be easy – I love my apartment and private space – but it would be passive income, removing the stress of no income.
I still hope to travel some, but mom needs to be independent first so that it won’t be too stressful on my sister when I am away. I have a few places on my list – Finland to see Santa Village, Iceland to see the Northern Lights, Egypt to see the sphinx, Turkey to experience hot air balloon ride in Cappadocia, and New York City for the Golden Girls cafe.
The reno and the travels would need money, so perhaps I do need an income after all. But how to balance the need for a salary versus time to spend on mom and travel? I need to find a solution. Perhaps what would suit me is gigs where I have more control of my time without the need to be stuck in the office.